Friday, July 20, 2012

FF55, 7/20/12 The Minds Eye

Did you hear
some deep and distant thunder     
as a tolling of a heavy bell       

that caught the core of you
when news came on the radio.
The mind became a cinema       

seeing a hiker with a round brimmed
hat and back pack;                    
Is death going one town over
from the small planes, woody crash site ?



    This piece is only a tiny part fiction and a long time forming.
It could be called a friends passing, but it is more complex...
This, minus a few details is an unfinished writing of 15 years ago.
It still requires some plumping 55 would not allow...

12 comments:

Myrna R. said...

Even with the missing details, it's wonderful. I especially like the opening which immediately transports one to imagination.

As I write to you, I have the TV on news about the shooting at the movie theater in Colorado. The poem seemed to fit with this, though I know you wrote it long ago.

Mama Zen said...

This is really cool!

Eric (Bubba) Alder said...

15 years is a long time to be hiking... I think you should see where that trail leads, Izzy! ☺

Linc said...

Needing a 56th word (or more) is something I've struggled with often. What I've learned: screw it--write it as long as it needs to be. It's so much more rewarding that way... That said, this piece is still very fulfilling. Bravo!

Alice Audrey said...

It's an intriguing snippet - not quite enough for me to understand, but enough to be curious.

G-Man said...

Never send to know for whom the bell tolls...It tolls for thee!
Very intiguing stuff Izzy.
Perfectly concise.
Loved your 55
Thanks for playing, thanks for your support, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

Heaven said...

Very interesting scene...I like the mind becoming a cinema ~

Brian Miller said...

there is def more here...left ont he table...it is an intriguing start to a story...let it develop give it time...i would love to hear more...maybe at magpie...

KB said...

Interesting, I'd like to know more.

Steve E said...

Izzy, when you have fed this one until it is plumped out--ready for market--you GOTTA come back here with it. How about shooting for Christmas?

(Although I just wrote a post about "Don't WORRY me, don't HURRY me"--grin!

It might be fun to have several of your friend-Peeps (I mean the GOOD writers) see if they wish to use it as a beginning theme, then splice and dice...see where it goes.

Or one of those 'collaborative' things where you write a chapter, then another takes it into a new territory, and on and on--don't know what that's called...
PEACE, Izzy!

Lydia said...

55 might not allow the plumping, but this is great! Very atmospheric and mysterious.

sharplittlepencil.com said...

Izzy, I saw the second part of this story, so came back to comment on the first. B was right; we needed to hear more. The fact is, you wrote this so well, we WANTED more.

Such a sad subject, too, loss... too much of it this week, I think. Now I'll go back and see the second half with fresh eyes. Lovely write. Love, Amer