Monday, November 8, 2010

Microfiction Monday 11/8/10

Drat, drat, drat! every step in the leaves made an echo.
Mummy was far ahead now. Nanna was right behind
as we trailed that wretched pony.

15 comments:

libithina said...

something about those leaves ~ magnetic draw ~ your write evokes the crispy crunch of going through with that 'drat, drst, drat' like popping those cellophane wraps ~ so satifying ~ great take ~ Lib

evenstarwen said...

She sounds like she needs to be carried on someone's shoulders. Aww.

Kay L. Davies said...

"made an echo"! What a wonderful idea.
-- Kay

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Sylvia K said...

Great take on the pic of the day! I, too, like the idea of the "crunch of leaves making an echo"! Hope you have a wonderful week!

Sylvia

jabblog said...

At least ponies leave tell-tale markers behind them ;-)

Pat said...

I predict Mummy will find the pony first! I like the "sound effects."

septembermom said...

I like the way you made us feel like we were there through the imagery and sound of this microfiction. Well done :)

Diane said...

Sure hope she finds it! :O)

hope said...

I like the addition of the pony! :)

Nessa said...

Cute. Crunching leaves are one of the fun things of Autumn.

Dave King said...

Impressive.

Brian Miller said...

trsiling a pony through the leaves...dirtiest the shoes...smiles.

Jingle Poetry said...

smartly put.

sylviamorice said...

Those leaves would certainly make it difficult to sneak up on anything or anyone! Good MM.
Have a great week. Cheers!

Jingle said...

http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/11/17/thursday-poets-rally-week-33-november-18-24/


Welcome attending poets rally week 33, link in a poem, visit 18 poets, done,
Poetry awards assigned upon completion.
Happy Friday!
Thanks in advance for the attention!
xxx